Things pile up sometimes.........

People often say life can sneak up on you.
I was never sure what it meant. Does it mean I'm waiting for a bus one day and BAM a job and a family sneaks up behind me.

But I guess it does.
Despite the blogs here, and trust me, life is very different to portrayed here. I was cruising along.
Dream job, time of my life.
I quit smoking, I started running, working out.

Everything sails along, meet some women, go out with some friends. And then my mighty tower started to lean.

A few loose bricks here and there........ some cracked mortar..............

Bigger hurdles.

I start to deal with someone I work with who goes out of his way to make my job difficult.
Literally, this man is over 30 and one of the other managers. And behaviour exhibited would get my children grounded.....

Then I meet the girl.
We worked together months ago, 18 months ago. Then we run into each other.

A coffee is arranged, a meetup, something casual for a "hi, how are you?"
We meet-up. A casual hello, and we sit down to order coffee..... 5 hours later we havent left the cafe/restaurant.
We've ordered a meal, looked into each others eyes, talked, rejoiced, regaled each other with tales.

I never imagined we had so much in common, so much alike, so many things to agree on and share. Like no-one else I've ever met.

A proper date is arranged. Dinner.
Once again, it all goes well, hours of company and conversation.
Twice more, then we see a movie, distance.................

Completely uncommited, no answers, no feelings, nothing close.
Mixed signals, moving too fast, talks about someone else missing out because of not moving fast enough.
A step back, she asks me out again, wants to see me more, gets flirty, asks me if Ive thought about her, wants details, wants more, compliments, looks, wants to know she's wanted.

Then suddenly back to we're just friends, I dont want more, I need my space.............

And everything raised or directed from her side is thrown back at me. You did this, you spoke about this, said that............

The smart thing to do is walk away, she's not interested.........

I cant just drop it, she's not trying to hurt me. I've not told her I think any more of her than she thinks of me. I've not said anything done has hurt.

I'll smile and carry on, after all. I need to make someone smile, even if its not me.